Limiting your choice: the Baskin Robbins syndrome

Years ago, when I was about 6 or 7 and my family and I lived in Texas, my mum took a friend and me to the well-known ice cream chain called ‘Baskin Robbins’.

Famous for having 31 flavours, it has rows upon rows of brightly coloured ice creams to choose from.

The tale in my family goes that my friend walked up and down, up and down, unable to make a choice out of the overwhelming rainbow of flavours. Finally, my mum gently suggested that perhaps it might help if she limit her choice to a mere six flavours, and allotted her a section. Still, she struggled, until finally declaring she wanted chocolate.

I wonder if you can relate to this ‘choice anxiety’?

I know I can.

I truly believe that whatever you decide to achieve, anything is possible with the right mindset, tenacity and resources.

But that is not the same as thinking everything is possible. At some point, you have to choose what you want to spend your time on.

This is a theory I am familiar with, and yet I have been running myself ragged trying to do ALL THE THINGS. But there are SO MANY THINGS I want to do!!! I have so many aspirations with my work, with being a good wife/mum/daughter/friend, not to mention exercise, outside activities and interests. So much to do, so little time!!! I’ve been feeling pulled in a thousand directions, and getting frustrated about my seeming inability to focus on any one thing.

Yesterday afternoon, in a call with my coach, she called me out on this behaviour which often leads to me feeling stressed and under it at work, and then, by association, also stressed, under it and, a joyful addition, resentful at home.

She asked me this:

If you had to make a choice, what one thing do you really want be working on?

That evening, after what has been a really challenging four months with my two year old, I had a breakthrough moment with him, and he fell asleep in my arms. It was a magical, heartwarming moment that I will always treasure.

As if under a spell, I descended the stairs and started an online course I’ve signed up for with Domestika, gouache painting with the inspiring and talented illustrator Maru Godas. She is incredible, with electric illustrations that BLOW MY MIND and get it racing with all the possibilities of what I want to paint. I learned more in 10 minutes than I have done in teaching myself in the past five years, and I realised:

all I really really want is to be able to execute extraordinary, vibrant illustrations in gouache.

Everything else – work aspirations, family time, hobbies, intellectual interests – all of it can and will feed into and inform this one burning desire. And the added bonus is that any drama will fall away. There is simply too much important work to do!

I went to sleep and dreamed intense dreams the whole night long about painting gouache, practising my painting in my sleep.

And, I swear, as Seth Godin says, I improved just a little with that practice.

It’s a long road for me to get to where I want to be, but for now: baby steps. Every day.

What about you, what one thing do you really want to be working on?

Until next time you gorgeous thing,